12/16/2024, 11:25 AM
well howdy! been about a month, now hasn't it? i was sitting in bed, playing persona 1 for the 4th time in a row, and thought to myself, "wow, i haven't updated motsdrama in a month, i should probably go put out that update i've been sitting on all this time." so here i am! i've got a couple of reasons for my absense, but always know this: i'm never abandoning this site. if i'm gone for an extended amount of time, that doesn't mean i'll be gone forever. adhd does as adhd is, and sometimes i get hyperfixated on certain things. if you were here for the early days of this site, i'm sure you know all about that. but sometimes it goes in the opposite direction, and i start to fixate on other things, and that's just part of life man. with that said, i've got a couple more tangible reasons, so let's begin with...
some of you may have gathered that i started this site because i was taking a web design class, and started to learn HTML because of it. we had to make a site for our final project, and my idea was this, motsdrama. as such, throughout the semester i had an active encouragement to continue updating and working on the site, because my grade depended on it. (if you're curious, i got a 50 on my final project. my professor said he liked the site, but it was more form over function, which... yeah, i agree with that.) but now that the semester is over, i don't really have anything pushing me to work on the site besides my own desire to work on it. trust me, that's still there, but i also don't hold myself to strict deadlines because that starts to make my motivation run dry, which no one wants.i'll update the site whenever i want, instead of having to conform to what my old professor wanted.
i'm a woman of many hobbies, i like drawing, i like playing games, i like making this website, but i also like to do other stuff sometimes. shoutouts to the people who have been patiently waiting for the 6th chapter of Self Made Demon Summoner on AO3, i promise it's coming sometime this decade. primarily, i started writing a review of Revelations: Persona for this website after finishing the Shin Megami Tensei 1 review that came out with this update. i then realized that it would be FAR too big to put it all here, and decided it needed to be done in video form instead. it has now reached a length of... let's see here... (sounds of paper shuffling around) a meager 44 pages, and i'm just about halfway done. i'm sure you can understand why i thought this was a bit too long for the site. on top of that, i've also been dedicating myself to getting a job after leaving my last one midway through october, and just trying to make better life habits, and not letting myself sit inside all day just... typing. sometimes you do need that, but sometimes it can really wear you down, and i've been trying to get better about not losing track of time.
sometimes when you're working on something and you're making really good progress, and then you just hit a total brick wall that stops you in your tracks, it can be hard to motivate yourself to get through that rough patch. that's been me with this website. even if it is a relatively small issue to solve, having to put in that extra brain power to force yourself to solve it can totally push you away from wanting to work on it at all. for example, i recently found out that with the new music page setup, the links to listen to the albums i've listed don't work, and just thinking about having to figure out how to fix that, and THEN having to go fix each link individually is totally killing my motivation. it still isn't fixed, and i don't know when i will fix it, but that was one thing heavily deterring me.
in conclusion, no, motsdrama isn't dead, it never was dead, and (probably) never will be dead. it's just that i've got other things i'm focusing on right now. like i said in the intro, if there's ever an extended absense, that never means the site is not getting updates ever again. it's probably just me working on some other project, and i'll most likely come back at some later date. either way, thank you for being patient with me on this one, i do appreciate it a lot! still don't know when i'm gonna get around to doing more of Jumping Flash! and Crystal, but that's another "it's never dead, just being slowly updated" sort of thing.