10/02/2024, 10:57 AM
"wow!" i hear you saying. "i can't believe it, a real mot update! how long has it been?" far too long, that's how. so i'm formally sorry for making you wait so long for an update. as any neurodivergent person knows far too well, i tend to work on something non-stop for a short period of time, and then suffer serious burnout. not only that, i've also just been busy with a lot of other things (work and school, as always) that just have been sapping up all of my motivation and time. now, with that said, i've had a lot of things on my mind, so here's a little lightning round of things i couldn't make a full Words entry for, but still wish to talk about.
one of the main classes im taking right now is C++ Programming I. due to unfortunate circumstances last semester, i'm having to retake it this semester, and while it isn't totally kicking my ass like it did last time, it's still been a huge hassle. i know quite a bit about programming, i know my for loops and my if-thens and all that jazz. but doing stuff outside of the console with any language outside of HTML and CSS is something i haven't quite wrapped my head around yet. same goes for compiling things, for the most part all the programming classes i've taken have used their own compiler that automatically does all the compiling for me, so stepping into the world of using Visual Studio on my own was a bit of a culture shock. and good lord, for whatever reason i have an insanely hard time processing literally any info people post about C++ online. i'll be struggling with something, decide to look it up, find someone else who has the exact same problem as me and find a solution, but for some reason i just can't process the solution given or put it into action. for example, i spent around seven hours (of on and off trying and failing) trying to figure out how the hell Header and Source files worked. for whatever reason, no matter what i did, no matter which example i looked at, when i tried implementing it it just would not compile. i did eventually figure it out, but it was wholly unsatisfying. all i did was rewrite everything exactly the same as i did the first time, except it was in a new set of files, and for whatever reason it just worked that time. is this user error? almost certainly. but that doesn't change the fact that it was still a grueling seven hours of typing something, it failing to compile, me making a slight change, and it giving me the same error, over and over. and again, this point is also almost certainly user error, but for whatever reason i just can't parse any of the info that's on cplusplus.com. i'll stare at it and reread it several times, and i simply just don't absorb any of the information. that could honestly be because they expect everyone who's reading something there to already know a good bit about the fundamentals, but with the way my brain processes information i need every step to be listed, and they simply just don't do that. fair enough, i don't think the site is made for a simple student like me, but it's still frustrating since that's the main resource everyone points me towards.
my recent obsession (gamewise) has been the Portal duology. i don't think i'd ever do these two justice in a review, so i'm just gonna ramble about them here. Portal 1 is soaked in an oppressive and isolating atmosphere that does everything in its power to make you feel alone. and then, oh man, the turn it takes midway through is just perfect. half of the game is simple and pure puzzle solving with the first 19 chambers, and then the second half makes you totally rethink the way you need to go about navigating spaces. it really nails that feeling of "i'm not supposed to be here, but i'm still finding my way around" and i live for that. not to mention, the game is pretty short and doesn't overstay its welcome. it makes it such a fun game to blast through in an afternoon, and is a tightly packed, all-killer-no-filler experience that i adore. and that isn't even mentioning the bonus maps and challenge mode! i recently replayed the game via the Nintendo Switch port, and there were actually some bonus levels in that version. i think these were first included in the Xbox 360 Live Arcade release, Portal: Still Alive, and they were graciously included in the Switch port as well. it was my first time ever seeing these, and it was a surreal experience playing new Portal 1 levels. it's pretty interesting, actually, since despite predating Portal 2 by nearly two and a half years, it includes things like the Hardlight Bridges, Laser Grids, Crushers, and even the Edgeless Safety Cube. (though to be fair, Advanced Chamber 17 in the base game also includes those, but whatever) the challenge mode is also a ton of fun, it makes you think in some seriously creative ways to minimize time spent and portals created, and getting those gold medals is endlessly satisfting. what i don't enjoy, however, is the least steps challenges. they're dumb, i don't like them. the game's criteria for what counts as a step is extremely loose, and i'm not enjoying my time getting the gold medals here so far. but besides that small blemish, i love every single inch of Portal 1, and it's earned its spot as one of my favorites of all time. (i kinda ran out of time to talk about Portal 2, so maybe that'll get its own spotlight at some point...)
yeah! my birthday was last Monday. i got a couple articles of clothing, (including an official Action Button Boku no Natsuyasumi shirt, a pair of brown cargo pants that are obscenely comfortable and very stylish, and a set of Halloween themed slightly-above-ankle socks) a replacement battery for my laptop, (which previously had a battery that could barely hold a charge longer than an hour or so) and a new, powered AV splitter (which i was in desperate need of, since my old AV splitter would basically cut the quality of both outputs in half and it looked like dogshit on both sides.) i also got about 50 bucks from my parents to go thrift shopping with, and picked up a lot of good stuff using it that i'll almost certainly be posting about in the Things section at some point in the future. it was a very laid-back birthday, and i must say i much prefer things that way. i mean, i've never really been one for cake if i'm being honest. sugar as a whole just isn't my favorite anymore, it makes me feel so tired and sluggish now, so i'm fine with doing away with birthday cake. no party either, since i've never been big on those. i just got a day to hang out with my roommate, and that was really all i needed.