Title: Faygo Fun Pack
Classification: Consumable (Potion)
Date obtained: October 6th, 2022

Description: as unfortunate as this is to hear, i am one of the poor souls unlucky enough to have read a large majority of Homestuck. is it good? i'll save that for a review or something. that isn't super relevant to this entry, because today we'll be discussing Faygo. now, to most normal people, Faygo is just another fruit soda, like Crush or Fanta. but to people like me, it immediately makes the worms in our brains wriggle around a bit because it was in Homestuck. it's the same deal with Tab, that's another soda that i can assure you i wouldn't give a single fuck about if it wasn't featured in the comic. so when i was visiting a friend in another state, they just so happened to have Faygo there. where i'm from (the Diet Building in Tokyo) we don't really have an easy way to get Faygo, and since the brain worms told me to, i ended up buying all four flavors they had just to finally see what it was like.

the four flavors pictured here are Strawberry, Blueberry, Grape and Peach. now, the last time i tasted these was a little under two years ago, so i don't remember what they taste like... at all. however, luckily for me (and you) i recorded a video of me and my friend taste testing each one on the day of, so i'm gonna use that as my reference point. (no, you don't get to see the video.) the first one we tried was Grape, and according to 2022 mot, it tastes like grape gum. not grape flavor, specifically grape gum, like the liquid that forms when you're chewing it. also apparently the bottles were really hard to open, even to the point of leaving a red mark on my hand when i tried opening it. next we tried out Peach, and i made a face that can best be described as "i just put something in my mouth that i really shouldn't have." the foremost taste was REALLY shitty, but as it went on it got better. apparently there was also hints of orange, despite it being clearly labeled peach. our next flavor is blueberry, and i seemed to be thoroughly disappointed by it. blueberry is generally my favorite flavor something can be, so i kind of have a high bar for it. our final flavor was Strawberry, and right out the gate i did NOT look happy to be drinking it. even from the smell alone i just looked upset. i really don't like artificial strawberry flavor, it's almost always terrible and makes me think of a very specific toothpaste i used a lot as a kid and absolutely hated. according to 2022 mot, "it smells like Robitussin, it tastes like a strawberry cough drop." which yeah, that checks out, strawberry flavor always tastes like some sort of medicine. upon my friend smelling it she actually recoiled, so that should give you a point of reference for how bad this one was.

for the final act of the video, we ended up doing what any 2nd grader thinks is the funniest shit ever and mixed all the flavors together into one horrid concoction. the color was dark magenta, and i described it as "looking sickly." upon taking my first (and only) sip of this terrible thing, i imeediately looked like i regretted every decision leading up to that moment. the taste was described as "an old jolly rancher that was left in a car for several years" and the smell was described as "cough syrup." for the final ranking, the order was Grape in first, then Blueberry, then Peach, then Strawberry.

so what all have we learned from this experience? i know what i learned. i don't think i really like Faygo, and i don't know what Gamzee was on.