everyone has their favorite source of caffine. reasonable people go with coffee, gamers say Red Bull is the best (because their sponsors would kill them if they didn't) and the disgusting monsters of the world say... well, Monster. but you know me, i can't say anything NORMAL is my favorite. i've gotta go with something WEIRD. that's right, we got the easy things to review out the way first. sure, i copy-pasted a review of Mr. Bones from my Backloggd and wrote a halfbaked review of an album i've been addicted to for my first two reviews, but now we're reviewing FOOD. because today, we'll be talking about my favorite energy drink, the V8+ Sparkling Energy drinks. specifically the Orange Pineapple flavor.

so i know i made a big deal out of this being weird and all, but realistically i didn't pick this as my favorite just cuz it's not popular or whatever. back in 2020, my mom picked these up for me one time on a whim, and i sort of... got super attached to them. i like my fruity juice, ok? Coffee is wicked bitter, Red Bull tastes like pure, concentrated sugar (which, big surprise, is not something i enjoy tasting NOR the idea of putting into my body) and Monster probably has some sort of actual monster in it that'll burst out of my organs if i drink any of it. the V8 Sparkling Energy drinks, however, feel a lot more mellow. i mean, no energy drink is ever going to be explicitly good for you, there's no denying that. but it feels like it's the perfect balance of palatable and least likely to take years off my life. now, that really only applies to the carbonated variants. when you just have the pure, no-carbonation V8 Energy drinks, that's where things get kinda rocky. they leave this really grody aftertaste that i just... do NOT like. the carbonation serves an important role in my enjoyment of this drink, because not only does it cover up that kinda grody aftertaste, it blends with the flavor in a very harmonious way that makes it so much more enjoyable than it would be otherwise. i mean... i'll be honest, i've never really been a huge fan of other V8 drinks. they all tend to have that same gross, bitter aftertaste that i really don't mesh with. but for some reason, adding carbonation to it changes the entire experience for me.

i mentioned my favorite flavor of the drink is the Orange Pineapple flavor, but there's a few other variants too. there's Strawberry Kiwi and Blueberry Pomegranate which are both quite good, but my favorite besides Orange Pineapple has to be Black Cherry. that shit rocks, anything black cherry flavored is always good. i mean... it kind of treads into that territory of "this tastes great, but i think i should fear for my life if i continue to consume this." and unfortunately, it seems to me that this flavor is also discontinued as of now. i seem to recall there also being a mango flavor at some point, but that may have also been discontinued. as of right now, the only flavors i can find of V8 Sparkling Energy are Orange Pineapple, Strawberry Kiwi, and the occasional box of Blueberry Pomegranate, and i can only ever find them at Kroger. any time i'm on vacation or go on a road trip, i can NEVER find these things anywhere, so i'm tempted to say they may only be limited to local Krogers as well. besides that, you can also find them quite often at QuikTrip gas stations, though they're only sold individually there. which brings me to an unfortunate point... the price. these guys are gonna run you a pretty penny if you keep on getting them, which is unfortunate to say the least. a box of 4 at Kroger goes for around 6 bucks a box, which is definitely better than other energy drinks (Monster is around 9 bucks for a 4 pack and RedBull is... jesus, 10 bucks for 4?! i mean, i know that's for 12 fl oz cans, but even for the 8.4 fl oz boxes that's still 8.50!) but you can get a 9.6 oz tub of Folger's coffee grounds for around 6.40, which will most likely last you the month. if you drink one can of V8 a day like i do, each box is only gonna last you around 4 days, and that's if your roommate doesn't steal one without telling you (>:[) and if you're after fruit juice more than anything, you can get a 10 pack of Capri Suns for like... 3.49. which is pretty much nothing. your best bet is to do what i do, and only get the V8s when they're on sale, or you have a coupon. but with the state of things... well...

you may have already been able to piece it together, but V8 Sparkling Energy is probably on the verge of getting discontinued. at both QT and Kroger, the selection has been getting smaller and smaller, and i know i'm the only one buying them because each time i go they look practically untouched. not to mention, they changed the designs of the cans to be a lot worse and less interesting to look at, which probably means they're trying to appeal to a wider audience out of desperation. i mean, look at the image above. this is the current can design. it looks boring as hell and if i wasn't already a fan of these, i sure as hell wouldn't bat an eye at it with the can looking like this. now look at the old can designs.



now look at these guys. they look awesome! and this image proves that there even used to be another flavor, Lemon Lime! i'm sure it's still in circulation, but i haven't even seen it at any stores i've ever been to. of course, you can always order them online, but like... who the hell wants to order food online? you don't know where it's been! i'd rather buy it from a grocery store, where it's... probably been touched by several peoples' greasy hands. okay bad example but still. apparently Walmart sells the Lemon Lime flavor, but they jacked up the prices so high its comparable to the obscene RedBull prices i listed earlier. so yeah, my point is, i'm probably gonna either have to find a new energy drink to tolerate, or just drop caffine altogether. and honestly, i think i might just go with the latter. i've been a lot more conscious about my caffine intake as of late, and i'm really looking to cut back on that. but i'll always love V8+ Sparkling Energy, and it'll always hold a special place in my heart.

...what i WON'T miss is that god-awful name. good lord, what kind of name is "V8+ Sparkling Energy," huh?! no wonder these things are going extinct, you have a naming convention to rival the likes of "Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE"! what purpose does the "+" serve here?! i mean, maybe it's to indicate that it's got caffine in it? but i think putting "Energy" at the end would serve that purpose just fine! come ON V8, you can clearly think of better names than that, you have another beverage called "Splash!" that's a catchy name, you couldn't do your energy drinks any justice? good grief!