before you ask, no, i'm not doing a chibi-robo review marathon, like i did with the SFC Megaten games or Wipeout, it's just that i just so happened to finish up this game right after finishing the first, and i have a LOT of thoughts and opinions about it. as a bit of backstory, back in middle school i was just starting to get into more obscure games as a whole, and Chibi-Robo was one of the first series i wanted to check out. as it happened, my birthday was coming up, and a friend of mine asked what i wanted. now, this friend of mine is someone i think very highly of, but she did not play videogames all that much, nevermind anything obscure like Chibi-Robo. even so, because i was a strange middle school demon, i asked "you know, i think it'd be cool to get Chibi-Robo Park Patrol!" i didn't know anything about the game, i just thought it was some random DS entry. i didn't really expect her to get it for me in the first place, asking for that was kind of a joke. and yet, cut to my birthday, and she hands me Park Patrol in one of those plastic GameStop clamshell protectors that they store DS games in. i have ZERO clue how she found this game, it's not like it's a particularly cheap game. pretty famously, it was made to be a Wal-Mart exclusive at the last minute, leading to it being somewhat rare these days. this was about seven or eight years ago now, so maybe it was different back then, but i'm still regularly baffled by this. Raelyn, if you're reading this, you've gotta give me the rundown on how you ended up getting this game for me.

with all that said, i do recommend you find some way to play Park Patrol on real hardware. it's one of those DS games that is absolutely in love with the touchscreen, and uses it all the time. and unlike something like Rhythm Heaven, it doesn't use it in a particularly good way, either. i think i'm getting ahead of myself, though. so, why is the genre for this supposed sequel to adventure game extraordinare Chibi-Robo! Plug Into Adventure listed as "farming?" well, for the next game in the series, i suppose they felt like mixing it up a bit, and pivoted in a completely different direction. instead of exploring a family house, cleaning up everything, doing little tasks, and meeting some sort of extraterrestrial species that helps you out like in the first game, Park Patrol is completely focused around building, decorating, and cultivating a nice park, hense the name. you're a special model of Chibi-Robo, meant to help nature and bring things back to their natural order, after the vicious Smoglings have begun polluting the world. oh yeah, this game is all about that "save the trees" messaging. now, don't get me wrong, that's a great cause, it's just... kind of heavy-handed here? the main villain of the game is a huge cloud of smoke named "Miasmo," and he's corrupted the former superhero "Captain Greenthumb" to do his evil bidding of... making flowers wilt. like, for comparison, the first game didn't even have a main antagonist, unless you count the concept of electrical bills as a villain. i will say, however, i think AO3 users need to up their game and make a Miasmo x Captain Greenthumb fanfic, the homoerotic tension between those two is palpable. maybe i should do that... hmmm.

the primary gameplay loop of Park Patrol is as follows. wake up, head out into the park, grow as many flowers as you can to gather Happy Points, come back at the end of the day, convert your Happy Points into watts so you can recharge, and repeat. i'll be honest, coming directly off of my beloved Plug into Adventure, i did NOT like this shift in gameplay. it didn't scratch nearly the same itch for me, i just found it really shallow and lame at first. plus, like i said earlier, this game LOVES using the touch screen. you use the D-Pad (or ABXY if you're left handed like i am) to move, and use your dominant hand to control stuff on the touchscreen. every tool you use is operated by a specific motion on the touch screen, whether that be drawing in circles to pedal a bike, swiping up and down to use the water squirter, or even something as simple as picking up your plug and plugging it into the outlet. i think this game makes me feel the way those people who complain about motion controls in Mario Galaxy feel. this all just seems completely unnecessary and annoying, it makes it hard to want to play the game when i know i have to do all this annoying touchscreen stuff to do anything. this also makes emulating the game a total pain, especially when it comes to using the boombox, which you have to rhythmically draw circles on the touchscreen to use, and it's what makes more flowers appear, which is pretty damn important in this game about growing flowers. but, as i continued playing, i did slooooowly (and i mean GLACIALLY) start to enjoy it. it is sort of addicting to grow as many flowers as you can in one day, see how much you can get done before having to recharge, i did like that aspect of it, and you do eventually get used to the dumb touchscreen bullshit. plus, if i wanted that classic adventure game aspect, all i had to do was go into town! (except not really.) aside from your park, you can also head out into the greater city, and explore the various shops. it's REALLY small, there's barely anything to do. you can sell your flowers if you want to get more Happy Points, but the main draw is searching for the various toys laying about. that's right, just like the first game, there are living toys you can meet and help with their sidequests! and on top of that, you can also recruit them to help you with certain tasks around your park! you even get to see Tampa, one of the Free Rangers from the first game! this all sounds like a total win, but unfortunately i just don't like these guys nearly as much as the PIA cast. one specific issue i have is that they're so GAUDY looking! i mean, to be fair, the first game was pretty goofy with some of its designs, but they take it way too far here.

like... you see what i mean, right?? it's like if the guy who designed Funky Phil in the first game got to design EVERY character, and it's just like, skittles overload with the colors, man. the storylines don't really make up for it either, and that was one of the things i really loved about the original! the car, Chassy, is self conscious about being kind of a junky looking car, and you know what the resolution to her storyline is? she gets turned into a sports car. "hey, if you don't like how you look, get surgery to fix it instead of learning to love yourself the way you are!" i dunno, feels like kind of a weird message to send to kids. there's also a pair of penguins named Fizz and Pop, and they're mascots for a soda brand. they get into a fight about who should get to say their name first, and just from that description alone you can tell this feels like some Nick Jr. show episode plot. i dunno, it all just feels so... kiddy? i know, i'm talking about Chibi-Robo here and i'm getting upset about it being a kids game, but you shouldn't water down plotlines just because it's a story for kids!! as a former kid, i know that kids don't like to feel like they're being talked down to. you can just write a normal story and it'll hold up a lot better than this. wanna know how i know that? because they did that for the second DS Chibi-Robo, Clean Sweep, and that game fuckin rocks!!!! i loved that game!

alright, alright, i need to stop getting worked up over this. so, overall, how do i feel about Chibi-Robo! Park Patrol? despite everything i've said up to this point, i think Park Patrol is actually kinda fun. sure, it's not what i wanted out of a Chibi-Robo sequel, but as something unrelated and different, it's fun to work towards making your park look all nice and pretty by growing flowers and setting up various pieces of decor. i think if Chibi-Robo! Clean Sweep, a more faithful followup to the original, didn't exist, i wouldn't be nearly as nice to Park Patrol, but because it does, i can appreciate all of Park Patrol's different ideas a lot more. i know i was harsh on the character designs, but in all honesty i've warmed up to them a little over time. plus, this was the first game to introduce the iconic smogling face, so i can at least give it credit for doing that. in conclusion, Chibi-Robo! Park Patrol isn't a great Chibi-Robo sequel, but it's a pretty cool standalone DS game with a lot of flaws.